June 27, 2009
Help Make a Monkey out of Larry
For a few years now, L's been talking about doing the Great Gorilla Run. He's a great talker, the L, but often doesn't get around to actually following through. That's just one of the reasons we love him (speaking of, do you know that tomorrow makes 17 years we've officially been together? Who knew?!? That's like almost half my life I've spent with the ape.)
Anyway, I saw a flyer for the run the other day, and sent him a link. A few hours later, I got a link in my email to his fund raising site. Yep, he signed up all on his lonesome and come September will be donning a Gorilla Suit and running with a bunch of like-minded monkey-see, monkey-do types for the charity.
So go on ...
sponsor him.
Think of it as our anniversary gift.
He's out training for it right now, shuffling through Hyde Park, dragging his knuckles on the ground, tossing his own feces at unsuspecting children.
June 15, 2009
I Always Hate Leaving the Cape
Had an amazing trip back to Provincetown. Ten days have flown by. Caught up with old friends, made a few new ones, and -- even though I'd been away for almost five years, time flies -- it felt so much like home.
Very sad to be leaving, but it's a beautiful morning and the ferry has wi-fi (which is a bad thing as I should be working on a project that's still not done and not blogging).
Will be in New York tonight, back to London on Friday.
And the world goes round.
May 31, 2009
A post every two months, that's normal, right?
I've been told I don't blog anymore, so my folks don't know what I'm doing, and since they worry, they did the next sensible thing.
Did they call? No.
Did they email? No.
Did they join Facebook? Yes.
I think that's hysterical.
So yeah, everybody friend my folks. Hey, did you hear Joan Rivers joined as well? Oh wait, that was Faceliftbook.
Thanks very much. Here all week, Try the veal. Tip your servers.
So anyway, why no bloggy, Bobby?
I've been busy! Living, working, teaching (have had THE BEST students lately, it's been a shame to see them go), reading, plotting a novel, writing, seeing friends, throwing parties, planning a holiday research trip, perhaps being drugged in a bar and robbed (we'll save that for a short story), developing crushes on poll dancers (have you seen Owen at Village? Oh. My.), going to the gym, losing a little weight, etc.
All is well. Except for that crappy day last week, but we move on.
So ... a blogworthy anecdote.
I'm working with a new guy from Qatar, who is motivated, eager, and fun to have in class for a few hours one-to-one (this is not always the case). He wants to improve his writing, and has a ways to go.
We were talking about how to do research, and how he could learn new vocabulary about topics he's liable to be tested on in IELTS.
Me: "What resources do you use to learn about things?"
He: "Google."
Me: "Right, but before Google was around, where would you have looked?
He: "Yahoo."
Comedy gold from the Qatarian.
I was aiming for books, libraries, etc. and did finally got there ... but it's a digital age. Books are for us old folks.
I'm heading back to Provincetown on Friday. First time back since we moved over here. I'm so very excited, and have so much work to do before then.
Same old, same old.
April 7, 2009
I Guess this Doesn't Air in Brazil
Watch the first 14 seconds and see if you know what this ad is for.
Classy.
(oh, stupid YouTube ... giving it away with the screen cap and the new title/rating headline ... grrrr)
Oh, but wait ... here's the musical version.
They do not start that with a cat in her lap.
April 6, 2009
A Cup of Sugar is One Thing ...
A colleague of mine, we'll call her Amy, approached me with a technical question.
I thought it was going to be something about the use of subjunctive or perhaps the third conditional, but the technology was computers, not ESL.
It seems her neighbor popped over during the weekend and asked if her daughter could use Amy's Internet. Amy, while very saavy on matters regarding films, grammar, and nail varnish (always the most fantastic colours), isn't so clever (by her own admission) about the tech side of things.
'Did she want to come over and use your computers?' I asked.
'No, apparently she wants to use my wi-fi. That seems like a cheeky thing to ask. Should I feel guilty by saying no?'
'That depends,' I said. 'Are they nice neighbors?'
'They're horrible. They came over one day with a half a sheet of A4 scribbled in the tiniest handwriting documenting what time our pipes made noise in the morning. They're always complaining about the stupidest things.'
'And yet they want to piggy back off your broadband account?'
'So it seems. Is that what people do?'
I said the rule guideline in most cities was if people weren't clever enough to password protect their wi-fi, then there was no reason not to use it.
'You have a security code on your wi-fi, right?'
She shrugged.
I told her if said neighbor decided to start downloading untoward things (not that anything untoward happens in Amy's Dulwich neighborhood) they could be traced back to her IP address (her eyes glazed over and I waved the tech speak away) and she could be responsible. Not to mention, the more computers using the wi-fi, the slower her service might be.
'So I'm not a bad person if I say no?'
I told her she should say yes, but then hand them a very long extenstion cord, have them plug it into one of their mains, stretch it from their house to hers and then just 'borrow' their electricity.
Amy has a computer guy, Ted, and is going to ring him this afternoon to make sure he's got a password on their system.
I'm pretty sure the neighbors are going to have to buck up and pay for their own broadband account.
What do you think? Should neighbors pitch in and socialize their broadband? Should there be an Internet cooperative?
April 4, 2009
Not Abigail, Not a Party
For two and a half hours last night, I couldn't take my eyes off Alison Steadman.
We went to see Enjoy, the revival of Alan Bennet's 1980 flop. The play itself is good, not great (I think he tried to tread where Pinter, and perhaps Orton, had gone before before with better success), but oh my goodness ... Ms Steadman was simply amazing. I've never seen all of Abigail's Party (I got the DVD as part of my assimilation packet), but have seen her as Mrs Bennett and Gavin's mum. Last night I saw a whole new completely developed person: a physical and vocal transformation that was nothing short of captivating.
That's two proper theatre experiences in one week. I caught Howie the Rookie on Wednesday, which was an in your face, tiny fringe production of Mark O'Rowe's (author of the brilliant Terminus) double-monologue of down-and-out Dubliners. It closes tonight, and it's a shame if you missed it.
March 30, 2009
It's Not Easy Seeing Green
Here's what the front of our building's gonna look like for the foreseeable future.
Granted, the boys put it up pretty quickly, and I'm not home during the day anymore to hear the clanging and pounding. But you know what I like best about the company in charge of my building's erection?
No misplaced apostrophes. Do you know what a rarity that is in London?
Suffice to say ... yes, the workman were Polish (hence the clever company name) and no, there were no "can I help you with your pole?" or "would you boys like to come in for a cool drink" moments.
We're classier than that these days.
But it is kind of an eyesore, no? The view could be worse, I reckon ... at least I don't have to look at that mess (the backyard, not the neighbor) anymore.
March 29, 2009
A Cock in a Frock on a Rock. More Schlock.
We saw Priscilla yesterday afternoon.
You can't deny it's good fun, but it was just all so ... Let's put on a show!.
To be sure, the audience loved it. The costumes were entertaining (all the ones you saw in the movie and more), and the music was fun (it's a jukebox musical full of disco classics and the occasional ballad ... 'cause even drag queen can tug at your heart strings, y'know) if not completely uninspired. The chorus boys were buff and waxed within an inch of their life. We saw flesh! (but not too much, of course)
But, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and be a little grumpy (big surprise), it's just not musical theater. It's a souped-up drag show (which people seem to love, especially in the comfort of an uncomfortable West End theater ... you wouldn't catch 90% of suburbia at a real drag show, in seedy club where the freaks real artistes are performing). It's an amusement park Wigstock, with most of the dirty bits covered up or censored out. It's Vegas-lite. It's cruise ship entertainment on steroids.
It's bound to be a crowd pleaser. It's just not anything new.
The sets are ridiculously cheap ... I guess because they spent all their money on costumes and an LED bus (god bless Miss Saigon, where would musicals be without a reworking of the helicopter?).
I blame Mamma Mia (recycle the tunes) and Disney (recycle the movie). People don't want to be challenged. They don't want to see anything new. They want things they know, with bad choreography (exceptionally bad, in Priscilla's case ... yeah, we get it, it's sexual, please go on and do some more pelvic thrusting and pulling your arms back like you're screwing the air) and songs to sing and clap along to. Audience-participation is the new black. I reckon Sister Act will be huge.
Can't we please unplug the jukebox now and create some new shows?
:: :: ::
The post-show entertainment was genius. Dinner at the swelligant Mews of Mayfair with a homicide detective who isn't all too happy that there's only been one murder in her precinct this year. You'd think that would be a good thing, but the poor dear needs some work to do. She's growing weary of knocking out crossword puzzles at the police station, waiting for the phone to ring.
Fingers crossed for a headless body in the back of someone's garden.
March 26, 2009
Adventures in Page Layout
I'm not sure what the Metro (that bastion on journalistic integrity) is trying to say today ...
a) Is Simon Cowell gay and in need of a cure?
or
b) Is Simon Cowell the cure for homosexuality?
In what could be related news, the same paper reports that Britain is running out of cocks.
We did not use the Metro as a teaching resource today.
March 23, 2009
March 17, 2009
The Come-to-Allah Talk
One of my students has decided he isn't learning enough. He's one of five Arabic blokes in the same class (4 Qatar, 1 UAE). I'd already heard from the Director of Studies he was thinking of changing classes (which would be no skin off my crooked nose).
"Well, Abduhl," I said, "may I make a few suggestions on how you might get more out of our class?"
"Yes, teacher." (I keep after them to call me by name, but Arabic culture dictates they call me teacher, it seems)
"You could show up on time. You could come to class every day. And you have to stop spending half the class talking to the other guys in Arabic. You're not going to get better at English unless you start practicing it. And it doesn't do any of you any good to come into this class, not listen to the other students when they're speaking English, and having your own whispered Arabic conversations when other people are talking. So there are to be absolutely no complaints about this class if I hear as much as a salaam out of you in this room."
"But they speak Arabic to me first," he protested. (totally not true, but he's always quick to point the blame, this one is)
"Then either don't talk to them or answer them in English. Can you try that for the next two hours?"
He said he could, as long as all the others promised to only speak English.
Guess who the first one to sneak into Arabic was?
I love these guys, but they are a lot of work. Bless.
