I've seen pyramids, volcanoes, pirate

I've seen pyramids, volcanoes, pirate ships and dancing water fountains. I got shot into the sky and was amazed at aquatic acrobatics. I threw lots of dice and made a little money in the process. I've seen Americans in their desert playground, and can honestly say that America needs to go on a diet.

Lots to write about, but I've only got time right now for some quick highlights from the past 5 days ...

* Drinks with Andy was a fun-filled way to start the holiday
* Why does every flight I'm on lately dare to show this devil? Enough already.
* Vegas is truly a whole new amusement park since the last time I was there, which was about 17 years ago.
* The pool area at the Luxor is a huge cement frying pan, and the sun reflecting off that pyramid is brutal -- book a cabana early
* Laurie is the best pit boss in all of Las Vegas
* Always play the odds
* My Aunt Judy is one of the cutest, dearest and good-hearted creations ... ever. Forty-three years later she and Uncle Bob (mine, not me) are such a cute couple. Thanks for driving out!!!!
* My sister married the sweetest boy in the world (and, for the record he brought his own cigarettes -- busted)
* Larry's family is still as funny as ever, eh, and it's good to see they don't drink anymore, eh (or any less, for that matter)
* If we never hear "Wheel! Of! Fortune!" again, it could be too soon.
* A proper meal always beats an all-you-can-eat buffet
* To the blonde busboy at Caesar's Palace's Terraza: you and me have a date on an ottoman
* To all most the boys at Red Square (especially Justin and the unnamed bartenders ... me-friggin'-ow) -- I'll chill your vodka whenever you like
* To Eric (Chris??), the black-eyed craps dealer at the Excalibur -- yum.
* Steve Wynn's art collection is very cool -- who knew we'd get some culture in the desert?
* Stoned straight boys shooting dice at 3am are ever-so-pretty
* Drunk straight girls watching the above are ever-so-not
* Me pointing to the youngster playing roulette and telling my sister, "Now, if I were a pedophile ...." (okay, maybe you had to be there)
* Taking the hummer to the west rim (heh heh, he said "hummer" and "rim" in the same sentence) of the Grand Canyon is spectacular -- not touristy at all, no fences, no hotels, just 20 or so people and a big old hole in the ground. Amazing. I'll post some pictures later.
* I can't wait to come back and see Zumanity
* Larry's a huge star for coming up with the whole idea, putting the trip together and then playing cruise director. We do love him so.

There's lots more, but mama's gotta get to a gym or a yoga studio. I'm on serious endorphin depletion.