That's easy ... I don't feel like going to sleep and night and hate getting up in the morning. I go to bed, toss and turn, get up and read, write, obsess about ponder all the things I should be doing, surf the net and/or watch tv and then fall asleep on the sofa. Wake up a few hours later, sometimes go to bed, sometimes turn off the tube and go back to sleep on the couch. Wake up too early, go back to sleep again and then don't ever want to get up.

What wakes you up?

Dunno, just wake up.

How much caffeine do you drink?

A few cups of coffee in the morning, a cup or two of coffee/tea in the afternoon (or Diet Cokes, I love me my Diet Coke) and usually a Diet Coke or two at home in the evening.

Are you kidding?

Um, no.

I'm going to offer some suggestions that you may not like. You say you want to feel better and stay off the medication for now ...

He seems to think I might get into a more regular sleep pattern, and in turn increase my energy/focus/happiness, if I cut out the caffeine. Years ago, he would have handed me a script for some Klonopin or Ritalin and talked about putting me back on something Zoloft-y. But instead, we're going to do a little experiment in decaffeination. Why did I tell him I wasn’t ready to take happy pills?

I live for Diet Coke. I love a good cup of coffee ... more than I ever loved cigarettes. My gut says I’d rather be medicated and caffeinated, but I’m always up for an experiment. We’ll just see.

No smokes. No cokes. Thank Whitney there's still crack.