Soup's On

My kitchen smells like a vegetarian cafe right now. I chopped up a couple handfuls of potatoes, parsnips, carrots and onions, tossed 'em into a pot of water, and they're now simmering into a delicious and nutritious pre-winter soup.

Campbell's ain't got nothing on me.

:: :: ::

I spent most of yesterday simmering. It was the end of a 3-day workshop, and for all sorts of reasons, nearly every part of it rubbed me the wrong way. I felt uneasy from the get go ... there were tensions and then tears between other participants. I felt unprotected. Some early remarks put me off and and then I took things way too seriously and much too personally.

The joy of self-awareness.

For the longest time, I felt like I was back in acting class, and "whoever cries first wins." Have you ever been in such a situation? Where you're told "there is no right or wrong," but at the same time "look how much better Sally does it than Steven. And remember kids, we're all in a place of non-judgment.

Bottom line, I think I spent way too much time "in my head" trying to analyze things to get them "right." The first set of exercises didn't click with me, and then all I could see were flaws in the material an dthe way I was approaching it. When I did try to just breathe and go with it, I was told I was controlling and not letting the process work.

Just couldn't seem to win.

So any "thick skin" I went in with boiled off right away, and I stewed myself into a steaming, easily crushed pot of nerves.

But I'm nothing if not resilient. Much better now though. Vegetable soup is much more appetizing than Bob stew.