Tuesday 200 - #68

Drag Diva's Poptastic Peroration

Baton Rouge — Critically acclaimed performance artist and drag celebutante Kitty Fiddler ended last night’s show with a bang at renowned boozer cum cabaret, Jizzaball’s. Patrons gasped in horrified delight when, during the climactic finale, her alter ego Dinah Might inserted what appeared to be a sparkler-stemmed marital aide into her posterior and shouted, “if they play one more Kylie remix, I’m going to explode.”

Tuleeta Pepsi, the evening’s DJ and Fiddler’s long-time arch-nemesis, immediately spun Minogue’s “Better the Devil you Know.” In what sources report to be either “the best animatronic special effects since Carol Channing’s last bus and truck of Hello, Dolly!” or “the scariest gore fest of sequins and silicone this side of Showgirls,” Ms Fiddler subsequently exploded on stage.

While insiders hint that Pepsi and Fiddler’s decade-long feud was purely theatrical teasing, there have been recent reports of diva drama, with both performers competing for the title role in the new musical, Target Weight! The Anna Nicole Story.

Neither artiste has been available for comment, and authorities are investigating the alleged disappearance of Ms Fiddler. Anyone possessing information (or an act for tonight’s show) is urged to come forward.

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